“Who is your favorite superhero?”
I remember that growing up, the question has often inspired black-eyes and threats in the playground. “My superhero is Batman. He has a cool cape and his sidekick is kinda cute.”
“Superman will kick Batman’s ass!”
“Not if Batman has Kryptonite!”
“Wonder Woman will kick everyone’s ass…”
“She is an ass! What’s the point of riding an invisible jet when everyone can see you!”
“And what’s the point of wearing briefs that everyone can see!”
A scuffle would ensue, along with (not-so-serious) threats of blacklisting somebody from your birthday party. But that was when I was in elementary, where DC reigned supreme and even that hero who can talk to fishes was invariably hotter than the Webbed One.
Things changed when I was in high school. Thanks to prime-time cartoons, I was suddenly thrust into a sub-culture where teen-aged boys were jerking off to Rogue (the tacit implication that there is still a hot virgin somewhere in the US is just too much for any pubescent perv) and Jean Grey, while girls were keeping pictures of Scott Summers right there besides Donnie Wahlberg and the stars in Teen Beat.
As an adult, I have had more sympathies with Marvel Superheroes than with DC ones. I don’t know, but there is just something about a guy shooting something white and sticky at the sight of a gorgeous girl that makes the travails of Spidey and Stan Lee’s minions more grounded. How could you not cheer for a guy who has real worries like rent and paying the bills while he’s on the prowl looking for bad guys? I mean, as a working middle class, I hardly have time to sympathize with a billionaire playboy, given the problems of the wealthy in my country invariably would involve how to spend the money that the toiling masses have earned for them. Sorry Bruce Wayne, but you and your ilk just represent capitalism at its worst.
Anyhoo… it goes without saying that the Superheroes and Villains of Marvel have always fascinated me, especially the mutants. And this is what this article is all about. I’m compiling now a list of mutant powers that I would like to have, and the things that I would do if I have them.
(Note: The Dark Phoenix is NOT on the list… she has proven that uncontrolled powers can lead to the demise of billions of people -- now that would put me on the government’s wanted list and, and really, what’s the use of that much power when it starts to control you?)
7. Mystique. I’m going by the Mystique of the comics, not the movie. In the comics, I can’t remember her as being particularly limber, but she was certainly as hot as Rebecca “Don’t Call me Stamos” Romijn. Plus, she’s more than a hundred years old, according to mythos (hey – get me the water that she drinks – fast!). If I were Mystique, I would not get around naked – for Chrissakes! What’s my shape-shifting powers for? I might probably be tempted to rob a bank (assume the form of the President of said bank, kill President, then run off with the money while constantly changing forms– and the police will have a band of very confused witnesses in their hands). Ultimately, though, I might assume the form of the President, steal back the millions she had stolen from the Filipino people, get rid of the Cabinet (First, Secretary Gonzales, then Secretary Reyes), then resign as President. That would save people a lot of grief.
6. The Scarlet Witch. Okay… so she has the ability to alter reality. Imagine what one can do with such powers! The only thing is, the Scarlet Witch sometimes has no control of her powers – in fact Professor X has to shut her mind down at some point to prevent her from doing anymore damage. If I were the Scarlet Witch, I would concentrate hard so that Osama Bin-Laden would finally be captured, and President Bush NEVER became president. I can also resurrect Heath Ledger (but that’s just a small fantasy -- *sigh*) so that Hollywood becomes a much better place, at least artistically.
5. Quicksilver. Superhuman speed. Hah! I can easily escape from my pursuers. Having superhuman speed can really be useful, especially when you are stuck in traffic. But I placed this above The Scarlet Witch’s powers because Quicksilver’s powers are very manageable. I can finish a lot of tasks all at once, because Quicksilver can think as fast as he can move. I can also jump to the future if I want to (one of Quicksilver’s listed powers) and since I travel at supersonic speeds, I can travel over oceans, no problem. That also saves a lot of gas, if you think about it.
4. Storm. The Weather Witch. If I can control the weather, I can go to Africa and create tropical rainstorms to render the earth fertile so the famine in that part of the world will be alleviated. I can also reverse climate changes, go to Antartica and make the weather colder by several degrees to prevent the melting of the ice caps and possibly even prevent floods. Then, make my tropical country experience snow every now and then, so people will not have to migrate because of the sweltering heat. And zap really annoying people with lightning. Plus, I don’t need contact lenses to change eye color.
3. Wolverine. Hmmm… apart from the fact that Hugh Jackman looks extra-hot as Wolverine? Imagine what it would be like to be free from diseases, and your system practically immune to all kinds of toxins. With self-healing powers, I would virtually be indestructible, like adamantium. I could easily earn by posing as a model for beautiful skin (NO SCARS) and anti-ageing creams. Okay… I’ll not include the adamantium part, because it was artificially grafted into his skeleton. Besides, it had been stripped by the next mutant on the list.
2. Magneto. Much of the known weapons are made from metal, so having Magneto’s powers pretty much places off most risky scenarios. Opponent is some para-military man doubling as an armed goon? Fine. Use your powers. A knife fight? *Yawn* Disarm him, and quick. Really, I can face down an armed army and come off unscathed. Of course, I don’t have to do anything as flashy as tearing down a bridge so I can travel with style. I can just tear down a vault in some Swiss bank and finally distribute Marcos’ money to those who deserve it before the government can lay its sticky paws on it (if it hasn’t yet).
1. Professor X. Ah… the ultimate. Ethics step back. I can control people’s minds, figure out what they are thinking. And expose them as frauds if I want to. I can make the President resign. I can make the despots step down and self-destruct. I can make President Bush recite nursery rhymes until his unenlightened constituents can finally decide that he can’t lead the country, much less a corporation. The possibilities are mindblowing, really. I can be the walking Lacuna, Inc., erasing memories from people who do not want to remember certain things in the past. Wow. I can make millions as a shrink that way. I can even make Secretary Reyes forget that he is the Energy Secretary (although, with the way he is performing now, I don’t think that would be necessary).
Runner-ups: Jean Grey. Gambit (making objects explode… cool – who needs Tyler Durden when you have Gambit?). And Spider-Man. Okay, he’s not a mutant, but his powers are at par with the rest of them. Hehehe…
I remember that growing up, the question has often inspired black-eyes and threats in the playground. “My superhero is Batman. He has a cool cape and his sidekick is kinda cute.”
“Superman will kick Batman’s ass!”
“Not if Batman has Kryptonite!”
“Wonder Woman will kick everyone’s ass…”
“She is an ass! What’s the point of riding an invisible jet when everyone can see you!”
“And what’s the point of wearing briefs that everyone can see!”
A scuffle would ensue, along with (not-so-serious) threats of blacklisting somebody from your birthday party. But that was when I was in elementary, where DC reigned supreme and even that hero who can talk to fishes was invariably hotter than the Webbed One.
Things changed when I was in high school. Thanks to prime-time cartoons, I was suddenly thrust into a sub-culture where teen-aged boys were jerking off to Rogue (the tacit implication that there is still a hot virgin somewhere in the US is just too much for any pubescent perv) and Jean Grey, while girls were keeping pictures of Scott Summers right there besides Donnie Wahlberg and the stars in Teen Beat.
As an adult, I have had more sympathies with Marvel Superheroes than with DC ones. I don’t know, but there is just something about a guy shooting something white and sticky at the sight of a gorgeous girl that makes the travails of Spidey and Stan Lee’s minions more grounded. How could you not cheer for a guy who has real worries like rent and paying the bills while he’s on the prowl looking for bad guys? I mean, as a working middle class, I hardly have time to sympathize with a billionaire playboy, given the problems of the wealthy in my country invariably would involve how to spend the money that the toiling masses have earned for them. Sorry Bruce Wayne, but you and your ilk just represent capitalism at its worst.
Anyhoo… it goes without saying that the Superheroes and Villains of Marvel have always fascinated me, especially the mutants. And this is what this article is all about. I’m compiling now a list of mutant powers that I would like to have, and the things that I would do if I have them.
(Note: The Dark Phoenix is NOT on the list… she has proven that uncontrolled powers can lead to the demise of billions of people -- now that would put me on the government’s wanted list and, and really, what’s the use of that much power when it starts to control you?)
7. Mystique. I’m going by the Mystique of the comics, not the movie. In the comics, I can’t remember her as being particularly limber, but she was certainly as hot as Rebecca “Don’t Call me Stamos” Romijn. Plus, she’s more than a hundred years old, according to mythos (hey – get me the water that she drinks – fast!). If I were Mystique, I would not get around naked – for Chrissakes! What’s my shape-shifting powers for? I might probably be tempted to rob a bank (assume the form of the President of said bank, kill President, then run off with the money while constantly changing forms– and the police will have a band of very confused witnesses in their hands). Ultimately, though, I might assume the form of the President, steal back the millions she had stolen from the Filipino people, get rid of the Cabinet (First, Secretary Gonzales, then Secretary Reyes), then resign as President. That would save people a lot of grief.
6. The Scarlet Witch. Okay… so she has the ability to alter reality. Imagine what one can do with such powers! The only thing is, the Scarlet Witch sometimes has no control of her powers – in fact Professor X has to shut her mind down at some point to prevent her from doing anymore damage. If I were the Scarlet Witch, I would concentrate hard so that Osama Bin-Laden would finally be captured, and President Bush NEVER became president. I can also resurrect Heath Ledger (but that’s just a small fantasy -- *sigh*) so that Hollywood becomes a much better place, at least artistically.
5. Quicksilver. Superhuman speed. Hah! I can easily escape from my pursuers. Having superhuman speed can really be useful, especially when you are stuck in traffic. But I placed this above The Scarlet Witch’s powers because Quicksilver’s powers are very manageable. I can finish a lot of tasks all at once, because Quicksilver can think as fast as he can move. I can also jump to the future if I want to (one of Quicksilver’s listed powers) and since I travel at supersonic speeds, I can travel over oceans, no problem. That also saves a lot of gas, if you think about it.
4. Storm. The Weather Witch. If I can control the weather, I can go to Africa and create tropical rainstorms to render the earth fertile so the famine in that part of the world will be alleviated. I can also reverse climate changes, go to Antartica and make the weather colder by several degrees to prevent the melting of the ice caps and possibly even prevent floods. Then, make my tropical country experience snow every now and then, so people will not have to migrate because of the sweltering heat. And zap really annoying people with lightning. Plus, I don’t need contact lenses to change eye color.
3. Wolverine. Hmmm… apart from the fact that Hugh Jackman looks extra-hot as Wolverine? Imagine what it would be like to be free from diseases, and your system practically immune to all kinds of toxins. With self-healing powers, I would virtually be indestructible, like adamantium. I could easily earn by posing as a model for beautiful skin (NO SCARS) and anti-ageing creams. Okay… I’ll not include the adamantium part, because it was artificially grafted into his skeleton. Besides, it had been stripped by the next mutant on the list.
2. Magneto. Much of the known weapons are made from metal, so having Magneto’s powers pretty much places off most risky scenarios. Opponent is some para-military man doubling as an armed goon? Fine. Use your powers. A knife fight? *Yawn* Disarm him, and quick. Really, I can face down an armed army and come off unscathed. Of course, I don’t have to do anything as flashy as tearing down a bridge so I can travel with style. I can just tear down a vault in some Swiss bank and finally distribute Marcos’ money to those who deserve it before the government can lay its sticky paws on it (if it hasn’t yet).
1. Professor X. Ah… the ultimate. Ethics step back. I can control people’s minds, figure out what they are thinking. And expose them as frauds if I want to. I can make the President resign. I can make the despots step down and self-destruct. I can make President Bush recite nursery rhymes until his unenlightened constituents can finally decide that he can’t lead the country, much less a corporation. The possibilities are mindblowing, really. I can be the walking Lacuna, Inc., erasing memories from people who do not want to remember certain things in the past. Wow. I can make millions as a shrink that way. I can even make Secretary Reyes forget that he is the Energy Secretary (although, with the way he is performing now, I don’t think that would be necessary).
Runner-ups: Jean Grey. Gambit (making objects explode… cool – who needs Tyler Durden when you have Gambit?). And Spider-Man. Okay, he’s not a mutant, but his powers are at par with the rest of them. Hehehe…
4 comments:
mutant eh... you should talk to marc g. about this he has the same past time you know thinking about mutant powers anyway mutants are now considered as WMD most of the heroes already been identified lols! pakta abi kung sino ni... (=
Ah... si dino ni? Di man pwede si JR kay kabalo man ni mag English! Pati ah...! Heheheh
who needs Tyler Durden when you have Gambit? cmon! blowing stuff up with soap is way cooler than blowing stuff up with cards.
Gambit can make soap explode. I have yet to see the day when Tyler can make dare Mr Durden to make playing cards explode!
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