Of Emo and the Vamps

What’s with the emo rev? First, it infects music. Now, the vampires.
Grrrrrr… Okay, take a good look at the pic right there. Cake make-up, cheesy lipstick, dark eyeshadows. Stupid vapid vampire.  
I, along with the rest of the family, watched the movie that has the tween set swooning, sighing and cracking their heads on the vinyl theater floors. Of course, I’m talking about Twilight, that over-rated movie about gorgeous (?) vampires with really bad make-up.
While the girl at my back was shrieking, my seven-year-old niece beside me was yawning, “This is not creepy, this is boring.”  
Right on, gurl! Okay, okay… I get it. The movie was all about (supposed) repression and abstinence, so I did the next best thing. Maybe I was just missing something. So I DLed the book.
And boy, was I surprised. The book was written in Sweet Dreams prose, with a lot of references to how “penetrating” and “tantalizing” the eyes of the main biter was (can’t remember what the name was – sounded Irish. And really, I don’t care.) Look, if you have a vampire book and the vampires are as interesting as the mold forming in my three-day enchilada, how good can that get?
So in frustration, I went home and watched Keyser Soze instead, a character exponentially more menacing than an emo neckbiter.  At least, my cerebral cortex wasn't left numb for two hours...